How To Save Your Marriage

Archive for February, 2010

How Do I Save My Marriage From Divorce – 3 Steps in Avoiding Divorce

by admin on Feb.15, 2010, under Saving Marriage

If you have asked yourself the question “how do I save my marriage from divorce” you have come to the right place! If your marriage is struggling, unhappy, or on the verge of divorce, you need to have the best information available at your fingertips. You need to know what factors could be working against your marriage right now, even if you see nothing wrong. Many people believe that their marriage is working fine until their spouse gives them the wake-up call.

In this article we will cover the question of how do I save my marriage from divorce with 3 easy steps to follow. Here they are…

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5 Ways To Save A Marriage

by admin on Feb.15, 2010, under Saving Marriage

If you arrive in front of a marriage or the spouse as a tedious and go in difficulty, in this place are ways to save an order of marriage since the labor force because of you. If you have spoken or fight knows Theo-treatment lines cozy wicker are closed, hoping that the place is quiet.

Any friend, a therapist or confidant receive different ideas about how the marriage until a reserve. If those ideas are, there are some fundamental principles of universal value, that are following this diet should be a clarification of any problems that you try to May

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Save Your Marriage Now: Top 3 Ways to Rekindle the Love

by admin on Feb.15, 2010, under Saving Marriage

truggling in your marriage?

Nobody said marriage would be easy, but fortunately there are ways to make it SIMPLER and more manageable.  In fact, look at these struggles as an opportunity to make your marriage BETTER and more romantic.

Here are 3 proven ways to revive the love and save your marriage now!  It’s worked for my wife and me, so I hope it works for you as well.1) Remove the ‘D’ word as an option! As soon as the word “divorce” is thrown around, you might as well just go find your divorce lawyers, because you’re inviting it in as an option.  If you’re serious about your marriage surviving, DO NOT even mention divorce as an option!  This is something that has really helped my wife and me in our marriage. Throw out the bad language, and throw out the seven-lettered divorce word.  It’s as bad as swearing!

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Save a Bad Marriage – How to Save a Bad Marriage

by admin on Feb.15, 2010, under Saving Marriage

One of the most effective methods to save a bad marriage is to make your partner feel loved and cared about, this method sounds so simple that a lot of people tend to overlook it. Lets look at other ways to make your spouse feel loved and cared about.

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Reconcile After Divorce – How To Regain Trust In Marriage

by admin on Feb.15, 2010, under Saving Marriage

It is always thought that once a marriage is on the rocks, it is going to be very hard to reconcile a marriage. However, you have to bear in mind that a marriage is a commitment between two individuals who have vowed to love and care for each other perpetually. To reconcile a marriage, it requires both parties to give each other the chance to get back together again. Of course I never say that it is going to be easy on how to save a marriage. But if both parties involved are willing to learn how to regain trust in marriage, then I am sure anyone will stand a good chance to save a marriage.

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How Can I Save My Marriage – Here Are 4 Tips You Can Use Right Now

by admin on Feb.14, 2010, under Saving Marriage

How can I save my marriage when it seems that all is lost? The feeling you have when your marriage is in turmoil can just about incapacitate you and prevent you from being productive at anything at all. Some people instinctively react by calling an attorney to end the marriage with divorce and that is really too bad; it need not be that way.

While every situation is different and life provides no guarantees, there are better ways to solve marital problems, even when infidelity is involved, than filing for divorce. In a way, filing for divorce could be running from a problem that is partly attached to you – it follows along.

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Tips For Saving Your Money

by admin on Feb.14, 2010, under Saving Marriage

Saving money certainly is not easy, especially when there are so many different ways out there to spend money. Whether you are trying to put back money for a special purchase, a rainy day or just to make your money stretch a little bit further it is important to understand that there are many ways in which you can cut back to save money.
The first step of saving money for any purpose is to find out where your money is going. This will help you to identify places where you may be able to cut back in order to save money. Generally, it is best to start at the beginning of the month and sit down to log all of your expenses as well as your income. Write down all of your set bills such as rent/mortgage, car notes, insurance, utilities, etc. Once you have written down all of your set expenses, subtract that amount from your income to determine how much is left over. You are still not finished. Throughout the next month, keep track of all of your other expenses. Even those miscellaneous expenses such as purchasing something from the vending machine at work should be logged in your expenses journal. After you have logged your expenses for a month, review your budget to determine areas you may be able to cut back or even eliminate in order to begin saving money. Some of the most common areas that many people find where they can save money are eating out, take-out coffee, etc.
Beyond those easy ways to save money there are also many other ways you can easily save money. One way to easily save money is to have bills automatically deducted from your bank account. Many companies will offer you a reduced rate if you will agree to automatic deductions.
Clipping coupons is another great way to save money on your groceries every week. Most Sunday papers have great money saving coupons. Go through the special edition and clip coupons for products that you would normally use. If you are able to apply those coupons at stores that offer double coupons on certain days, you will be able to save even more money.
To save money on your utility bills, make sure you turn off lights when you are not in the room. This is an easy way to cut back on your power bills. Installing a dimmer switch can help as well. This is a quick and inexpensive fix that can help you to really reduce your electric bill. When possible, lower your thermostat during the winter and wear a sweater instead. During warmer months, take advantage of the fresh air offered by opening a window in order to drive down your cooling bills.
Consider shopping at thrift stores rather than buying new items. You could cut the price of many purchases in half by simply shopping at thrift shops, consignment shops and through online auctions.
Cutting your entertainment budget by eating out less often and staying home to watch a movie rather than going out can also help you to save more money as well.
Learning the art of menu planning is a great way to save money as well. Many people often turn to ordering out when the hour becomes late and they do not have advance plans for dinner. By planning your menus in advance and shopping around that plan you will always know what you plan to serve and can avoid that last minute dinner rush that so frequently turns into an expensive dinner out.
Rather than going out and spending a lot of money on expensive gifts for birthdays, holidays and other special occasions, consider making your own gifts instead. There are many different kinds of gifts that can be made, including food mixes, soap, cookies, candles, bread, jewelry and much more. These items can usually be made rather easily and also quite inexpensively. When you include a handwritten note with your gift, it will become something even more special that anything you could have found at the store and it will also save you money as well.
If you really need to turn up some extra money you might also think about having a large garage sell and getting rid of some items that you no longer need. While there are no guarantees regarding the amount of money that you would be able to turn up through a garage sale, many people discover they are able to rake in a few hundred dollars with this method.
Finally, consider getting rid of services and memberships that you do not really use or need. Many people often spend a small fortune each year on such items but do not receive any return on investment. By cutting out these items, you can begin to put more toward your savings account.

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Why Communication in Marriage Can Cause Divorce, Part 3

by admin on Feb.14, 2010, under Saving Marriage

As you have read the wrong communication style is a recipe for disaster in your relationship.
Instead of just talking we need other tools; we need connection, and we need that especially before any attempt at communication. Connection is the key, and Tantra is the art of connection.
When men feel connected they want to talk more and are more open to hearing what their lovers are saying without feeling criticized. When women feel connected they want to talk less because they are not tying to forge the bond they felt was missing.
Seems like connecting causes there to be more of the balance that the different genders need.
Connecting non-verbally will save most of the relationships in doom today. With 40 million couples living sexless marriages and a 61 percent divorce rate we need something other than talking about it, to fix what is going on.
When women talk to each other or the kids about working together or making things better they don’t feel the same vulnerabilities to the extent that men do. Those vulnerabilities are namely fear and shame, and those feelings can cripple a man.
What couples need to do is to become aware of how each other reacts to a perceived stressful situation. If you understand that your man can not hear you when you are getting passionately engaged in conversation, don’t get mad, get connected. Think about connecting on a non verbal way before starting to try and fix anything verbally.
What generally happens is one or the other will wait until they are scared, hurt, angry or sad before trying to reconnect verbally in the relationship and that doesn’t work at all.
In my teaching of Tantra I help couples connect non-verbally with several effective tools to keep this cycle of fear based communication from happening and spinning out of control.
The most powerful one of these connection tools is called a spooning agreement.
As a couple, you can make an agreement that when you are starting down the road to conflict in conversation, one or the other can call spooning, with a hand gesture or a by saying spooning. The other needs to comply with this request.
Spooning is when the couple lays down with one in the front and the other behind, both facing the same way. Usually the one that calls spooning is behind. Once in this position you commence to breathe together. This is done for 5 minutes.
Breathing together creates harmony and breathing helps to combat the effects of cortisol. Generally in 5 minutes both partners have had time to get their bio-chemistry backed off a bit and even more in sync. Once that happens it’s hard for the couple to imagine why they might have been angry in the first place.
Keeping to your spooning agreement is a very tough thing to do when you are angry but remember this is about the commitment to the relationship, not about being right. Once you have spooned you will feel better connected and men will be able to listen more and women will be more empathetic to the man’s feelings of anxiety and shame.
We need to understand that the majority of men desire to please their partners and make them happy, and the majority of women want their men to feel appreciated and loved.
When women feel connected they talk from their hearts instead of their hurts. When men feel connected they listen from their hearts instead of their shame. And when that can happen, healing and love can flourish.

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Marriage – Dealing With Differences

by admin on Feb.14, 2010, under Saving Marriage

Each person is an individual; and, as such, no two people can reasonably be expected to agree on everything. Being able to recognize this as a fact-of-life is one of the most important signs of maturity. It is also the first step in learning how to effectively resolve differences. If you think about it, you probably know many people who do not have that level of maturity. Even though it affects every area of life, it can quickly spell “disaster” in a marriage! You may know someone who, due to flaws in his or her upbringing, always has to “have his own way.” It may be someone who always had and did whatever he wanted as a child, and became older without growing up, still asserting his entitlement over “getting his way.” It may be someone who had to fight for everything that he had, and even as an adult sees any differences as a threat to “his rights.” Or it may be someone who was spoiled, with “his way” never being challenged by anyone. While such a person can learn how to respectfully acknowledge differences, and learn how to compromise, it all depends on the willingness of that person. Fortunately, difficulties in a marriage are not always to such an extreme. Perhaps you and your spouse did not fully acknowledge your differences in the early stages of your relationship; or perhaps you felt that time and love would solve the problem.  While effective communication is essential in resolving this type of problem, respect for each other’s differences and the motivation to reach a solution are also necessary. As differences come about primarily from a person’s background and upbringing, there can be many or few, minor or serious. But whether the subject is a matter of a minor disagreement or something of a very serious nature, getting the hang of resolving differences before they become matters of confrontation is the most important factor.  In other words, what the issue is not nearly as relevant as what you do about it. Whether you and your spouse are disagreeing on something as tiny as where to hang your towels in your bathroom, or something of large proportion such as whether or not your sixteen-year-old is ready to get a driver’s license, learning how to resolve differences is the deciding factor between reaching conclusions which both spouses can happily live with or allowing every difference to be a power-struggle of who wins and who loses. The fact of the matter is that in a marital relationship, if differences are settled by power-struggles, everyone loses.  If this has become a problem in your marriage, you may be wondering how it can work. There are two basic manners in which differences can be resolved– by compromise, or by “agreeing to disagree.”  In most cases, you will find that compromise is indeed the best solution. This way, a conclusion is reached which both persons can be relatively comfortable with. In some instances, however, agreeing to disagree is the only viable solution. The reason why it is most beneficial is that it eliminates power struggles and promotes respect between both people.  Although many people fail to grasp this fact, mainly due to their upbringing or popular trends, “fighting” is most definitely not an unavoidable, par-for-the-course part of any relationship, including marriage. The fact of the matter is that most arguments can be stopped in their tracks by setting yourself to the task of learning effective communication and how to resolve your differences through compromise and agreeing to disagree.  It is simply not necessary for any disagreement to escalate into a “fight”– nor is it healthy! It causes more problems than were there to begin with, and diminishes the respect between the two individuals. Learning how to resolve differences is not only essential– it is also possible!

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Things You Can Do to Have a Wonderful Marriage

by admin on Feb.14, 2010, under Saving Marriage

Having an opportune wedding isn’t regular and it doesn’t necessarily come clearly just because you adore one another. While being in passion is very important in a wedding sometimes it just isn’t enough and you have to work at your nuptials just like any other relationship. Open communication and cautious consideration of each others feelings are two of the emotional aspects that keys to a pleased matrimony. Even more ordinary niceties such the household responsibilities and monetary understanding can factor into the chaos of the matrimony. It is crucial to understand that a nuptials is a multi-faceted relationship that requests to be nurtured in all its capacities to be successful and lasting as it was intended to be.

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